The best way to accomplish an impossible goal is to spend a small fortune hiring untrained resources, keep your employees salaries small, set unreasonable expectations, and in the end act like you have no clue why you weren't able to do what couldn't be done in the first place.

Entire projects can be completely and accurately planned and scheduled, down to the specific day, hour, and minute of completion -- before requirements are known.

Telling employees that millions of dollars of money they'll never see rests on the success or failure of their work is a good form of motivation.

A comfortable and productive work environment is one where IM is blocked, web usage is monitored, and employees generally feel like "big brother is watching." It doesn't lead to a hostile work environment... no....

All software systems should be infinitely flexible and take into account all future requirements (which are currently unknowable). However, it is not acceptable to gather requirements on future requirements, as they are not within the scope of the project.

It is the responsibility of the application designers and programmers to define the business processes of the customer so that requirements can be written. It does not matter that IT has no experience or innate knowledge of the business process.

If the project cannot be finished quickly enough, add outside resources, train them, manage their work, correct their mistakes, and keep communication going. That'll speed things up... riiight...

Rome would have been built in a day if they had hired more contractors and done less planning (of course, it wouldn't still be standing today, but what does that matter?)

Quality and design are secondary to the deadline.

Questioning why a system was built in a particular way six months after it is completed is valid. Answering that the lack of design and quality control is the primary contributor to the problem is not.

*sigh* Ignore me. I'm just feeling a little frustrated this week. Enjoy the features!